Huh. I have a blog. Who knew?

I'm getting married February 6. I have a pretty dress, invitations, and a lot of decorations.

It's funny how planning a wedding for 600 of our closest friends and family consumes one's life. Tomorrow I'm going shopping for shoes, jewelry and a bunch of other crap.

Strange thing is, I don't really care about any of it. I just want to get hitched and get it over with. Hope the food is good and I can boogie and get a little drunk. That's all I care about.

If you find yourself planning a February vacation, feel free to head this way! You know how to reach me for details. :)

I miss you guys.

I got bling, baby!

HOLY CRAP!

I'm engaged.




And, I know, I suck at blogging.


But forgive me, for I am getting married in February of 2010.

Unanswers

Andy works at GM.

I think that may say a lot to some of you and very little to some of you. He has enough seniority (13 years) to hold a job for now. GM has announced that they will close the plant here by 2010. At that point, we don't know what the hell we're going to do. Well, yeah we do.

We'll have to take a transfer if and when one is offered to us. We'll move to Missouri, Kentucky, or some other state. Probably not Detroit, Flint, or Fort Wayne, though. Andy would prefer to not work at a plant that you have to go through metal detectors on your way in, and I don't blame him one bit. It just leaves so much in the air for now. My job, I'd better not get too attached, since I don't know when I'll have to go. Or where. Or how much notice we'll have. It's so stressful.

The main thing is that he's worked 13 years so he'll only have to work 17 more. The pension offered to him at age 49 is better than what some people make while working! (Assuming it'll still be around.)

I had been thinking about going back to school, but I'm afraid to start to only have to leave. And if we move, I'd have to wait a while for school, since I can't afford to pay out of state tuition.

So many questions. Any questions that remain, I don't have answers for. Nobody does. GM is closing in this area, and the economic windfall is going to be big. It's a scary time for Southern Wisconsin, and it almost makes me glad I'll be leaving.

Almost.

Debris

I don't remember the exact day that I decided I was tired of it. I needed a break.

You know, there's pressure in this. I couldn't deal anymore with everyone needing to know what was going on, and then telling me exactly what they thought of it. I was tired of being judged every time I hit "Publish Post".

I had some great readers, some dedicated people. I had some people I considered friends even though I had never met them. It's like having a pen pal that you share with others. It's knowing that all these people were going to be happy for me when I was happy, or be genuinely concerned when I wasn't. And then I wondered...why isn't it enough for me to just be happy, without needing others to be happy for me? And just to be sad and carry on if that's how I feel. The need to share it all went away. Part of it, for me, was that I found someone to share everything with.

If something bothers me, it's not a blog that gets my first thought, my initial reaction. That's not what it's about. He gets the raw me. He gets to see my often times roller coaster type emotions, and he gets to help me sort through them. That's what it's about. He is lucky enough that he gets to hold onto me when I'm upset or gets to see the twinkle in my eye when I'm up to something. He gets my laughter and my tears, and he gets it all first. I wouldn't change that for anything.

I think that I'm realizing that just because he gets it first, doesn't mean that everyone else can't get it at all. I enjoy this, I like having the reactions of people in the sometimes crazy and sometimes mundane life that I narrate. And I completely enjoy reading about your lives.

I just might be back.

Wondering

After three months of dating, is it too soon to be excited about your wedding?

Hypothetically, of course.

Just for my reference

Dear Amy,

Don't forget this feeling. When life wears at you, don't forget the feelings you have right now. How you are actually sad that he left to go hunting so you have to go an entire week without seeing him. When he's driving you crazy, remember how he makes you laugh at yourself and him like nobody has been able to before.

Remember this feeling right now, how you're beginning to get the feeling. THAT feeling. The one in your gut. The one telling you that you might be able to actually see yourself marrying this guy. Don't forget how much fun it is just kissing him, or teasing him, cutting his hair because he's not capable of doing it right himself. Don't forget the first time he gave you the remote, and told you to choose. Then vetoed Friends right off the bat.

Even in the fights, never forget how much he's making everything worthwhile right now. How he looked at Melissa and told her "She loves me." How he fits in with your dad and brother. How Jeremy actually said that he'd be pissed if you broke up. How cute your sister looked in his hat, and how comfy his hats are when you steal them. (2 so far!!)

He doesn't tell you how much he's fallen for you. That's not his way. Remember how you can see it in his eyes, when he can't wait to kiss you every time he sees you. The cute way he reluctantly admitted that Bauer is such a cute little guy. Remember the way he'll kiss you in the middle of the night, just because he can.

Remember these times, just in case the future isn't as great as it is now. Remember how wonderful he makes you feel, even when he's frustrating the hell out of you. Remember how instantly you felt that you were in this thing called life together.

Remember how you feel now, when you're falling in love with him.